Parenting: We're Doing it Right

If you're not yet a parent, have you ever wondered how different your life will be once you become one? Sure ya have! Don't worry, it's not so bad. You'll probably even grow to like it after a while (note here that I am totally kidding; it's wonderful)! But I will admit that there were times in the weeks leading up to Baby P's birth that I got really anxious about what life might be like once he was actually here. This would often happen on Sundays around two o'clock when I laid down for my Sunday nap... What happens when I'm not able to take naps anymore?!

Well... I'm here to tell you.

Naps

I am probably the biggest adult nap-lover you could ever meet. "Sorry, I can't meet you for coffee; it's my naptime." "I can't make plans on a Sunday afternoon; I'll be sleeping." I once turned down an interview I had with a city official for the newspaper because he wanted to meet during one of my naptimes (no, I didn't tell him that, and I did reschedule). Here's what I'll say if you're a fellow nap-lover: you'll still get to have naps. You'll snooze when the baby does during the day if you can accept that it might mean that your laundry/dishes/vacuuming doesn't get done. You'll be tired sometimes, but you won't really notice it, or at least I don't. I've also got a lot more energy as a new mother than I've ever had before, so I don't really feel the need for a catnap in the afternoon. Luckily, Vaught's a good napper, so I know that when I am feeling especially cranky, a few minutes of tranquil silence is never too far away.

Out to Eat

You'll still get to do this... It just won't be at four and five star restaurants and fancy sushi bars. Even if your baby does well in public like ours, you just won't want to take him/her out to really nice places all the time. I'm much more comfortable feeding Vaught with one hand, eating with the other at the local Chinese buffet than almost anywhere else. We've taken Vaught to Outback Steakhouse, Olive Garden, Firebird's, and Newk's, but nowhere particularly fancy just yet, and I'm always sure to have our Podee Hands-Free Bottle in tow! I was initially really nervous about having a baby in a restaurant... What if he starts throwing a fit and screaming and I can't get the bottle ready in time? What if he spits up all over me while we're eating? What if I'm too preoccupied with him to even eat?! Once you become a parent, you really don't care. You'll find a way to finish that burger, even if it means your spouse has to hand-feed it to you. Yes, people will stare. Some people might mutter rude things under their breath, but you will not care. You just do the best you can and ignore them.

Nighttime Sleep

Vaught sleeps through the night for 10-11 hours most nights, and he's not even four months old yet. People told me I would never sleep well again once I became a mother, but that is not true. I sleep wonderfully. I get plenty of sleep, and if I don't it's usually because of my own restlessness and not because of a crying or sick baby. I will sleep well as long as Vaught's healthy and doesn't have a driver's license. Now once we reach that point I know he'll make for some hard nights.

Marriage

"Your marriage will suffer," someone once told me of becoming parents. Eric and I both agree that becoming parents together has strengthened our bond more than ever. We are a team, and there's no way we could do this without one another. Many others also told me that after having a baby, there is no time for physical romancing. I'm trying to keep from giggling like a kid as I type this: That. Is. Not. True. But I also believe that it is all in how your prioritize being a parent and being a good spouse. Yes, baby is now our top priority, but my husband and I never displace our physical and emotional needs from each other. His are important to me, just as mine are important to him. We make that time for each other and although it may sometimes be short, it is always wonderful (and I'm talking about together time in general, ya dirty perv). I will say this: if you claim that your marriage has suffered after having a child, you may have gotten married for the wrong reasons...

Housework

Laundry, shmaundry. Do you see that enormous pile that was literally oozing out of my closet?

 I have no idea how we still go through so many clothes, but somehow it all gets done--eventually. Your floors may go unswept for weeks, those dishes in the sink are piling up, and you have no idea when you last dusted off the coffee table. I became a bit of a neat freak when I bought this house in 2012, but the more time I spend with Vaught watching him smile and laugh and play, the less I care what my house looks like. I try to tidy up every few days, but he's not going to remember how clean the floors were or whether or not the laundry hampers were empty. No, you're probably not going to have all the time in the world to clean, but you'll spend that time with your sweet little one, and you'll come to realize that household chores can most definitely wait.

Things change a little when you become a parent; that's a given. You'll never be the same, and at the same time you've never felt so comfortable in such a new role. There's a lot of give and take, but believe me when I say it's all worth it. You won't do things right 100% of the time. Hell, you probably won't do it right 75% of the time! But you'll learn that with parenting, doing it "right" has everything to do with doing what's best for you and your little family. But what do I know? I'm only four months in :)