S I X Makeup Tips from the Girl Who's Been There

Many of you have been there. Standing in the middle of Sephora or Ulta with not a clue in hell where to even start. You pick up a tube of shiny brown stuff you think is mascara; turns out, that stuff is for your brows. Chapstick is your lipstick of choice. And the only thing you wing is life--forget eyeliner.

Well, I've learned a few things about makeup in the past fifteen years I've been wearing it. I've also learned a little about my skin and how to care for it. I've learned that you don't need pricey cleansers and exfoliants. You don't have to go to cosmetology school to learn how to apply good makeup. And speaking of good makeup, you don't have to spend a fortune for quality products because more often than not, those "quality products" are simply drugstore formulas with better packaging.

Below are the best tried and true makeup tips I have to offer.

1. Yes, do powder. Foundation will wipe your face of some of its natural color, regardless of how on-point your skin/foundation shade is. A loose powder swiped on evenly over your foundation simply brings some of that color back to your face. (Be sure to match your foundation and powder shade to the skin on your neck)!

2. You can do bold lips. A bold lip with a soft eye. A strong bedroom eye with a soft lip. It's about keeping things balanced and even. And yes, you need lip-liner (not more than one shade darker than your lipstick, girlfriend).

3. Brows matter, but they don't need a powerful gel slicked over them, giving the brows a "painted on" look. It's not natural, it's not cute. Try a powder no more than one shade darker than your natural brow color and use a small, angled defining brush to push the powder into the outer line of your brows. No need to fill in the entire brow unless you're going for a heavier look, which is okay for GNO. Keep it simple for your day look!

4. Contour with powder, not cream. Some girls swear by a cream contour kit, but I find it sticky and messy by the end of the day. Contouring with powder is so much easier to do and stays on much better. Use a bronzing powder and contour brush to push the powder from the center of your ear through mid-cheek, just below your blush.

5. Stop putting mascara on your bottom lashes, ya filthy. I haven't worn mascara on my bottom lashes in probably two years. It looks dirty and is the prime culprit of that raccoon-ish, melted mess underneath your eyes by two in the afternoon. Also, avoid using liquid liner on the bottom lashline for the same reason. Instead, use a small, rounded brush to dot a eye shadow along your bottom lash line. I almost also use a gold color here; it makes my blue eyes POP.

                                                             

6. WASH YOUR FACE. I'm still working on this one. It's so easy to go to bed with a dirty face, but your skin will thank you for it if you make cleansing your skin each night a routine! I also use our Exfoliating Peel by ItWorks two to three times a week to remove dead skin from my face. This stuff has done wonders for oil control too!

My Best Advice Regarding the M-Word

I know my mother's gonna see this pop up on her timeline sometime this morning and laugh her ass off.

Did I not just give you money to get your laptop fixed three months ago?

Yes, Mother, you did :)

Hi, I'm Kate. I'm a recovering overspender and shopaholic. I gladly and proudly admit that I am rising from the ashes of an overspender's cremation. It's funny to imagine this, but four years ago right now, my and my husband's finances were better than they've ever been. Things didn't begin to slip until I lost my job and had our son shortly after just two years ago. Since then, I've been building back up, pretty much from the ground (or perhaps the pits of financial hell). I would say we hit pretty close to the bottom in the summer of 2015, but things were much better when I returned to work full time as a teacher that fall.

As you guys know, my venture back into teaching, what I'll always consider my fourth year, didn't last very long, but thankfully, I began my adventure with ItWorks shortly before quitting my job in the classroom. You want to talk about the Lord's blessings? ItWorks immediately was there to pick up the slack from quitting my job so that we didn't get even further behind.

In complete honesty, it's been uphill from there. It's not always easy, nor is it fun, but I am most at ease with my finances when Vaught's dad and I sit down, write them out, and decide where and how we can improve.

If I could go back to being eighteen years old, here's the best budgeting advice I would give college freshman me.

1. Stay away from credit cards. Credit card debt is not sexy, and it's hard to get out of. If you absolutely must, get one card with a low interest rate and low limit ($500-$1,000). Charge a tank of gas or a snack to it once a month so your card stays active (perhaps pay a small bill too if it's helpful at a certain time of the month). The second your credit card bill comes in, pay it off. Completely, if you can. If you can't afford to pay it in full for whatever reason, aim to pay at least double the minimum. I know it sounds horrifying, but don't just pay the minimum.

2. If you must have credit cards, keep the balance on them at 30% of the card limit or below. I'm serious. If the card limit is $1,000, aim to keep the balance at $300 or less (refer back to number 1). But if at all possible, don't rack up a bunch of credit cards.

3. Keep a checkbook and keep it balanced. No one taught me how to do this until my  mother sat me down and did it herself towards the end of my senior year of high school (that's how she found out about the tattoo on my left ass cheek, too. "Why is there a $75 debit at Oxford Ink??" Awkward).
I cannot stress the importance of writing down your bank account balance and keeping up with every transaction processed through it, even something as small as $2 spent at the convenience store. It will save you a lot of trouble and senseless anxiety to always know what's in your bank account!

4. Start saving and start small. It's completely understandable if thinking about starting a savings accounts overwhelms you or freaks you out; it did me too. It took me years to finally open an account strictly for savings. That's why when I did, I started small. I used an old coffee tin to put loose change and dollar bills in. After a couple months, I had more than $50, and I knew it was time to open a savings account! I called around to find one with a great interest rate (make money while you save money, right??) It took about twenty minutes to open my account and the rest is history... Sort of.

5. Designate a percentage of your paycheck to put in savings and put that percentage in there every single pay period! My personal preference is at least 5%. If I make $2,000 a month, for example, at least $100 is going into my savings account. That money is there for me to use in case of emergency (things happen), or to dip out of if unexpected expenses comes up (again, things happen).

6. Pay your bills on time. Not only is this good for your credit, it's good for your conscious. There have been times where paying every single bill on time didn't leave us with much left over to make it to the next paycheck. Although it sucked sometimes, it was always worth it to know we were in the clear. There have also been bills that I've pushed to the backburner to make room for the extras... That sucked even more. Don't do it. Bill comes in mail, pay it. Immediately.

7. If you need help, ask for it. I don't mean asking your parents to spot you because you blew all your  money on GNO (I don't know that from experience or anything), but if a monthly expense is becoming unmanageable, see if there's a way it can be lowered or even eliminated. My DirecTV bill became far too high for me to pay every month a couple years ago. Lowering it was as easy as getting online and chatting with a representative who helped me take $25 off of it without eliminating any of the channels we love. When our Verizon bill was upwards of $500/month, we made the decision to switch to Sprint and saved $300/month (seriously). If you must ask to borrow money from family for any reason, do it respectfully and make a plan as to how you will pay it back.

8. Do not make any big, financially-binding decisions until you're ready. Whether buying a home or a car, don't do it until you're 100% certain you can foot the bill each month. I never dreamed that when I bought my house, I'd be jobless less than two years later. I'd also added two vehicles to my name during that time, which put even more pressure on me and quickly began to affect my credit. Think these big decisions through and learn as much about the process as you can.

9. Eliminate small, unnecessary expenses. Starbucks every morning. McDonald's everyday at lunch hour. You may only be spending a few dollars at a time, but making your coffee and meals at home and taking them with you will save you hundreds of dollars every year. I used to go to Starbucks every single day until I did the math on how much I spend at this over-priced (but freaking amazing) coffee chain and realized I could be putting an extra $100-$150 in my savings account without it. Now, Starbucks is a once or twice-weekly treat. Okay, three times if I'm feeling crazy.

10. Get some goals and make them happen. Another reason I absolutely could not remain in education? There's little to no money to be made, and you can say what you want, but it's the truth. I hated the idea of my salary being only a handful of dollars higher each year, so I opted for something else. Let me just add to this that money isn't everything and I value time with family and friends and making memories over any dollar amount, but I do want to know that I have funds there if and when I need them. I want to travel some day, and you need money to do that. I want to have money to put down on a new home when the time comes. I want to buy my mom a new vehicle and maybe some farm equipment for my dad, silly as that may sound. I love giving to charities and my church, and I never want to not be able to do those things.

Maybe I don't have it all together, but I'm well on my way and have learned so much about my finances in my "adulting" experience so far. My hope is that maybe you've learned something here you can apply to your own situation too!

I'm not gonna be that mom...

I made the decision when I got pregnant, and possibly even before, that I wouldn't be "that mom."

 

You know, the one who's obsessed with literally every trend, every fad, every reason to go non-GMO, all-natural, obsessively organic with my child. I've done well, for the most part, though I did go through an organic phase, and even now I catch myself grimacing a little as I watch my mom or someone else feed Vaught macaroni and cheese or a second cookie. But in general, I'm pretty chill.

One thing that is so prominent today, especially with the literal explosion of social media in my generation, is mommy wars. Mommy wars and mom-shaming is real, and I hate it. I absolutely hate it. But it's there and my assumption is that it's not going anywhere any time soon.

It's gotten so bad that I used to be afraid of posting pictures of my two-year-old son in the car (throwing cheerios and apple slices everywhere) because he's forward-facing, and I have several friends (good friends) on social media who are members of the carseat police. I didn't dare announce to the world that Vaught was 100% formula-fed by the time he was two weeks old. And don't even get me started on the death concoction that is sunscreen. (Seriously, read that article; it's everything I can't say).

But today, I'm breaking the silence, at least just a little. I swore I wouldn't be that mom, and I'm not going to be.

You know... That mom who...

... freaks out over gender-specific toys.
Y'all, this is a rising fad. Either you're making sure that your little girl plays with only dolls and only wears pink or she's in overalls and is playing in the dirt with tractors because you don't want her feeling confined to gender-specific colors/toys. That entire sentence just gave me a headache. I don't have time to deal with it. Vaught wears "boy clothes" but I definitely wouldn't freak out if he ever wanted a pink t-shirt. He plays with typical "boy toys," but he also loves his stuffed animals something serious and calls them his "babies." He even has a pink teddy bear (I have no idea where it came from and I don't care) that he is obsessed with. He takes a new baby to bed with him every night. Y'all, I cannot deal. I do not have time for this gender nonsense.

... is a bona fide member of the car seat police.
Please stop. I get it, you want every child to be buckled in properly and safely secure (I do too!) but please stop mom-shaming other moms for when they switch to front-facing and other things of that nature. It's such a catch 22 because you're thinking, I ONLY DO IT OUT OF LOVE, but so often it comes across as judgmental and mean. I get it, I really do. But it's just one of those things I can't be bothered with. No one has ever made a comment about Vaught's front facing seat (he's the average height and size of a four-year-old as it is), but I'd sure as hell tell someone to stick it if they ever did.

... is obsessed with breast feeding.
Notice how I say obsessed because there is a difference in being a breastfeeding mom and being an obsessive, mom-shaming milk machine. Breast feeding isn't just something we do for our babies nowadays; it's literally become this explosive culture, this divide between those who DO and those who DON'T. And those of us who don't, especially those of us who chose to be a part of the don't? We are the outties, the crazies, the moms who don't give a shit about the well-being and health of our children. We are selfish and lazy and weak. Just stop. I tried, and I hated it. I only breastfed Vaught for two weeks and will probably not breastfeed my second child, should I ever reproduce again. You won't catch me feeling bad about it. And my boobs still look incredible, so there's that.

... offers unsolicited advice.
I can't and I won't. I feel that my job as a mom and as a member of the elite society of motherhood is to support and encourage my mom friends. My friend Cameron had her baby girl about six months ago, and we were chatting about the transition from bassinet to crib a few days ago. Despite making Vaught a crib sleeper from the time he was two weeks old, I was so encouraging and supportive towards Cameron, who genuinely asked for my advice regarding the process. I just feel like it's best to show love and support to other moms.

I just have this insane need to reach out to every mom I know and even ones I don't and just tell her she's a ROCKSTAR and that her kid is beautiful and loves her so much! I want to tell her that whether or not she co-sleeps or formula feeds doesn't determine who her child becomes or demerit her as a mother in any way. I want to thank those moms who exclusively breastfeed and assure them that their is no shame in the nipple game around me! I want to hug those mamas of sick children and assure them that they are wrapped in the comfort of God. 

Parenting, and more specifically, mothering, can be hard, but at the end of the day, it matters only that your little ones are healthy and loved. Keep it up, mama. I see you and appreciate you, girlfriend. 

"You're very well-spoken and well-read."

I'm so tired of graduate school.

Like, I love it, but I hate it. I'm that girl who always loved school. I love learning and reading. Few things excite me like a brand new pack of ink pens or neon-colored notebooks. I live for mid-July, when Target puts their new school supplies on display.

But yeah, I'm kinda over grad school.

Right now I'm in only one class (and I'm $1,300 poorer as of, like, yesterday. Thanks, Ole Miss. #tuitionproblems). It's a seminar on Jane Austen, legendary English author I was never a fan of. The truth: I'd never read anything by Jane Austen. At all.

Despite being mentally done with my courses, I find myself more and more fascinated with Jane Austen as we spend approximately two and a half hours every Tuesday night discussing her.

It happened a few weeks ago, as I was asked to read another fairly large chunk of text in one of our Jane Austen novels, Northanger Abbey.

Upon finishing my reading to my nine classmates, my professor nods his head at me.

"Wow, thank you for that, Kate," he says. "That was enjoyable. You're very well-spoken and well-read. Good job."

I may be twenty-six (to my credit, I was still 25 when this happened), but I positively beamed. I tried not to show it, but I was as thrilled as I was in elementary school when the teacher praised me and bragged on me in front of the other kids. To say I don't mind attention would be an understatement; I love attention. But I especially enjoy it in situations and environments when I feel completely behind and, for lack of a better word, stupid.

Don't get me wrong: I'm smart. I know I am. But in so many of my graduate school courses, I've often just sat there listening, often afraid to speak up. I always have something to say, but I'm often afraid to say it. It was because of this comment my professor made towards my reading that I realized that what I have to say is valuable. I can speak up if I want to.

So in class a few nights ago, we were talking about the argument of social improvement in Austen's writing, and I was dying to speak. With half an hour left in class, I raised my hand.

"But look at what he adds down at the bottom of page 116," I said, pointing to it on my laptop screen, prompting my classmates and professor to look in their copies as well. We were reading an essay by a literaty critic who was, for lack of a better way of putting it, poking fun at Austen.

"Isn't he," I continued, "making a joke of Austen here? Isn't he completely ripping apart what millions of people love about her?"

"YES, Kate!" my professor says shouts. "That is exactly what he's done. Go ahead and read that entire section for us, please..."

I get to read and this makes me happy. When I finish, a classmate sitting across from me says, "You have a great reading voice."

"She really does," my professor chips in.

I blush and say "thank you," but I am dying inside.

When I began writing this post, I wasn't quite sure where I was heading with it, but it's a little more clear to me now. I'm realizing that I'm not the smartest or the most innovative, but I am well-spoken and well-read. When I have things to say, not just in my Jane Austen class but in general, I should speak up and say them. We are less than a week away from the 2016 Election Day, and I've not said much about it at all, not here or anywhere, but I realize that while not everyone will agree with what I say, my thoughts and opinions are valuable. They do matter. I can say what I feel and back myself up if I need to.

Maybe there are more people like me than I thought. Actually, I'm sure there are. Maybe you're like this too, and my hope is that you, like me, realize your potential and value in this crazy world. We are worth far more than we realize.

-Kate

10 Lies I'm Going to Stop Telling Myself, Like, Yesterday

1. I look good without makeup. Correction: my skin is much healthier now that I'm taking better care of it, but no, I do not look "good" without makeup. Few people do. I need mascara because my eyelashes are blonde. I need color on my cheeks. I need to even out redness in my face. I need to look alive. And I need makeup to make all this happen.

2. The camera adds ten pounds. No, it doesn't. Fast food and skipping the gym does.

3. I pull for Mississippi State when Ole Miss isn't playing them. No, I don't, and I never will. And I'm not being salty about it because Ole Miss is taking it up the butt pretty good right now too, but I never cheer for our friends in Starkville, not under any circumstance.  Sue me.
**edited to add that I am enjoying watching Dak Prescott kill it with the Cowboys.

Okay, I can be kinda salty sometimes...

                                    

Then I remember this and it's like LOL

4. It's on sale, so I should buy it. Do I need it? Do I have to have it? Is it a necessity? If the answer to any or all of these is "no," put it down and walk away.

5. No one's going to notice if I don't wear a bra. They'll notice. Is it a big deal? No.

More happy about taking off my bra than I was about being drunk.

6. Leggings are pants. Well, this one is debatable and while I'm not the most disgusting creature donning them as britches, I'm sure I've encountered a few people who feel differently. Ima just do me though if you don't mind.

7. I'm gonna eat healthier tomorrow. Either I'm going to make good decisions today or I'm not going to. Period. Get it together, Kate.

8. I need a new pair of Uggs this season. No twenty-six-year-old needs a new pair of Uggs. Leave it to middle schoolers and hungover sorority girls. (Side note: I will most definitely get a new pair of Uggs this fall).

9. It's okay. Nine times out of ten, it is probably not okay, but it's okay.

10. I'm on a budget. LOL.