Weight loss is hard. It is by far the hardest thing, the most difficult struggle in my life as of this time (and has been for the past 15 years of however long it's been since I became conscious of my body). It's harder than motherhood and childbirth (yes, I said that and I stand by it). It's harder than marriage and relationships.
Losing weight is a relationship in itself in that it's something you have to work at every single day. You screw up sometimes, you make decisions that ultimately make your body hate you (or vice versa) for a little while. It has its highs and lows, and when it's going well, it's going really well, and when it sucks, it effing sucks.
"Weight" and "weight loss" and "my body" are a few, among many, words and phrases that are difficult for me to say and talk about simply from sheer embarrassment I sometimes feel when I realize that I'm twenty-six years old and am still working at this. I have friends and family who read here, former colleagues, classmates, former students, and maybe even a few people who just really do not care for me, and for the past 4 years that is mainly what you have come here to read: I am still working at this, still struggling, still fighting the same fight, though somewhat wiser about it now than I once was.
I looked and felt my best about a year after having Vaught, but I've since lost that girl, not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well. I wouldn't know her if I saw her, and she certainly wouldn't recognize me.
Fitness took a back seat in my life while I busied myself with other things, knowing the entire time I was letting myself go, if only just a little and if only for just a little while.
I have no idea how much weight I gained in the fall of 2016, but it wasn't pretty. My guess is right at 15 pounds, but it could have been a little more or maybe a little less (doubtful on the latter). I knew what I was doing to myself, but I was in this temporary mindset where I seriously did not care.
And then I woke up the first morning of 2017, an empty wine bottle and cardboard pizza box left on the kitchen counter as proof of who I had let myself become and I decided, for good - no seriously - for good, that I did not want to be that girl anymore.
It's so cliche to say you're gonna revamp your entire life starting with the first day of the new year, but think about it: could there be a better time? My goal is not to get skinny, for the good Lord blessed me with hips and a big booty that I actually really like and want to hang onto (lolz). My goal, instead, is to become the healthiest version of myself this year. I'm weighing, but the number doesn't control my life. I'm letting my body decide where it's comfortable each day, but I'm having to be patient in the process and truly listen to what it's telling me.
Maybe you're like me and you've finally had enough and are ready to get serious about your health, or perhaps you're brand new to fitness and are just looking for a good starting point. Here's what I can tell you-- these are the tips that work for me.
1. Give your body time.
I didn't wake up on January first of this year and immediately cut out all refined carbs and junk food. Cold turkey is only good on whole wheat bread; give it time. I remember taking my time to eat that day. I'd been eating junk all winter, so that's what my body was used to, but I fixed a green salad for lunch and still had some chips as a snack later then had some lean protein and veggies for dinner. I had a good workout that afternoon. The next day I made homemade tomato soup and instead of a full grilled cheese, ate an open-faced grilled cheese on some whole wheat toast instead. I worked out a upped my water intake. By the tenth day of January, I had cut carbs and sugar in my diet by about 70% and was making smarter, healthier choices daily.
Do you see where I'm going?
One reason it was always incredibly difficult for me to stick to new diet regimens was because I tried to completely revamp my eating habits in one day. This may not be true for everyone, but for me, this was basically me setting myself up for failure. My body would go into withdrawal mode and I would go crazy wanting sugar and carbs and all the things it was used to.
Give. Your. Body. Time. It will get used to subtle changes each day and making healthy choices, coupled with losing weight, will happen easily and naturally.
2. Make friends with the scale.
So, the scale in my bathroom broke sometime in late November (PEFECT TIMING, right?!) I went about two months without weighing myself, which can be a bad and good thing. When I started getting healthy this year, I didn't immediately go out and purchase a new scale; I honestly was not ready to see the number because I knew if I weighed myself on the tenth day of January, I would be disappointed; I knew I weighed more than I expected. Finally, on January 19th, when I could definitely since some good changes within myself, I went to Target and purchased a new scale. I weighed the next morning and was so glad I'd decided to wait; I weighed only a couple pounds more than the number I was guessing.
Some people can weigh every day and the number not affect them, as it's normal for it to fluctuate a pound or two from day to day, but I decided that I would limit myself to weighing twice a week, no more. I've stuck to that regimen and am glad it's something I'm comfortable doing. So far, the numbers have only gone up once, and that was the morning after the Garth Brooks concert (I drank two margaritas with dinner the night before and there they were)!
3. Expect temptation and eat it for breakfast.
I knew temptation would come and I knew it would be really hard to ward it off if I wasn't prepared for it, so before going out to eat, dining out with friends, doing drinks, whatever was going on in my life, I gave myself a pep talk. Crazy, right? But it works! One of the very first trials was a night out in Oxford for my friend's going-away party in mid-January. I had a reasonable dinner and only a couple of drinks on the Square that I couldn't even finish because my body was so turned off to alcohol. After getting a cab back to her house, they ordered two pizzas for us to munch on for "late night." Guys, I literally sat cross-legged on the couch with a large pepperoni pizza in my lap as my friends ate slice after slice (they are, by my definition, perfect so they can do things like this). My mouth was watering at the smell, but I knew I wasn't hungry; my stomach was still not happy with the two cocktails I'd tried to make myself enjoy earlier. At one point I literally had to walk out of the room and get away from the smell because #pizzaislife.
It's hard, y'all. And see, if I had been truly hungry I could have eaten a small slice or at least half of one, but I knew that I wasn't, and though my brain was saying YASSSS, girl, my stomach and heart said Seriously, plz don't.
I woke up the next morning feeling so freaking proud; I knew that if I could turn down late night pizza, I could do literally anything.
4. Keep temptation around.
Sounds counteractive, right? It's totally not. I try to limit the cookies, crackers, and other refined carbs in my pantry, but they're there, nevertheless, and I totally don't mind them. I figured if I could withstand having them in my own house where I could binge eat and devour in private, perhaps I would be a hundred times more disciplined outside my home--going out to eat or to a party or wedding reception. It was really really hard in the beginning, just as it was to sit at my friend's house that night with a pepperoni pizza in my lap. But each day it gets easier, I swear. Each time I say no to a cookie for myself when I give Vaught a treat, I realize that by saying no, I've done something healthy for myself. Would one cookie hurt? No. Not at all. But it also won't bring me any closer to my fitness goals, so #boom.
5. Just keep going.
Even when you have a bad day and a gallon chocolate milkshake and jumbo French fries was the only solution, get up the next morning and jump back on it. Eat the brownie and go work out. Eat healthily so you can enjoy a slice of birthday cake at your niece's birthday party. Exercise a few times a week so you'll feel good and live a little longer. Health and happiness looks good on you! Do it for you, friend.
