We get it; you work out.

    

     A few weeks ago, someone close to me said, "I just really don't like these selfies you post." She was scrolling through my Instagram feed at the time, furrowing her brow at some of my photos. If you follow me on Instagram, then you've noticed I post somewhat frequently about my workouts, usually with a sweaty gym mirror shot and one of my Polar watch. Because I'm super cool like that. 

     I walked out of the room for a moment, as I felt myself becoming embarrassed but more than that, hurt. Since this person is so close to me, I felt ashamed, like she was telling me I was self-obsessed or something of that nature. I knew she disliked when people posted photos of themselves; I'd heard her say it many times. But my "gym selfies," in my opinion were a little different.  I decided I had to say something.

    "Mom, can I talk to you for a minute?" I asked as I stepped inside her office. She looked up at me smiling until she saw I had tears in my eyes. "What's wrong?" she asked, almost frantically. I sat down and told her that her comment combined with post-pregnancy hormones (they're a bitch) had hurt my feelings. I told her that she knew she'd raised me to not be a self-righteous, pompous person and that I would never post those photos as a means of seeking attention. "For the first time in my life, I am happy with myself," I told her. I told her that I don't post those photos for attention or for comments or for people to know that I work out. "I know I could never post any photos like that and people would know that I work out," I said. "They'll see my progress eventually." This is where I told myself that I was being extremely dramatic... But I had to finish. My mother is my best friend, and her support means more to me than anyone's, and I made sure she knew that. "If my pictures can motivate just one person, then I'm happy," I told her. "If one person gets off the couch or flushes their diet pills down the drain, then I've done my job, and I can't ask for anything else. I'm sorry you don't like those pictures, but other people do. It's okay that you don't understand why I post them; they're not for you." I finished by telling her the most basic part of all of it: katecooperpace is my Instagram account. No one else's. 

     I can't tell you how many times I've been situated at home, convinced that I wasn't going to the gym that day/night, then saw the sweaty selfie of someone who did. Nine times out of ten, I picked myself up and went to the gym too. While I'm sitting on my butt, someone out there is getting stronger, faster, healthier. Can the pictures be an overshare sometimes? Gosh, yes. I get it, they can be annoying. But they do the job. For me, if just one person gets up and works out, that is enough. After talking about it with my mom, she couldn't stop apologizing, and of course I told her it wasn't necessary. It really wasn't. She raised us to be kind and selfless, far from self-absorbed. I understood her point of view, but I had to make sure that she understood mine. 

     I don't think I'm hot. I don't need you to tell me I look good. I don't care if you "like" it or not. Slowly but surely, I'm making progress, and I want to share it. Yes, I am proud, but I'm also extremely humbled, for I know what it feels like to be unhappy with yourself. For years. I know what some people think, and I'm perfectly okay with that. I hope that someday they can be happy, too. 

 I'll end with saying that I can't imagine being someone who can't make fun of herself now and then. These e-cards are hilarious! Do what you do and be yourself. Don't ever let anyone make you feel guilty for it.