My husband proofreads a lot of what I post on here, giving me ideas on how to make it better, more interesting, more concise, etc. Often, however, he'll say, "Delete this... That's too much information." Ha! Yes, although I claim to be a private person, I am pretty much an open book when I'm comfortable, and I must say that I'm quite comfy in the blogosphere! I love sharing my life and what I'm going through with you all. I have a pretty big audience of people I know and trust, and I really don't mind giving you all an inside look at my life.
With that being said, I cannot go into very much detail about the phone call I got from my husband today, but I will say this: it was much needed, prayed for, and it is the perfect proof of God's Word. In Luke 12:22-34, Jesus instructs his disciples not to worry... about anything. He tells them not to worry about the clothes they'll wear, food they'll eat. He basically says, "I'm going to take care of it." And He did and still does for us as Christians. It's so hard for me to wrap my mind around sometimes, but God truly does not want us to worry about anything. If we hand it all over to Him in good faith, He will take all the worries and stress off our shoulders, gladly. It's a hard thing to do, as I'm a bit of a control freak who wants to figure everything out and fix it all for myself. I have to remember that God's timing is a hundred times better than my own. His plans overcome any that I could dream up for myself; I just have to be patient and trust in Him.
Eric called me during his lunch break and gave me the best news we've gotten in a while, aside from knowing that Baby Pace is healthy at every appointment! I began crying quietly at my desk. I had to excuse myself to the restroom, where I got down on my knees and just thanked God. Sounds really dramatic, I know, but have you ever had a prayer answered after feeling so hopeless? It's an incredible feeling--of both relief and God's love.
I have no worries now, no fears. I am constantly being shown that His timing and His plans outweigh my own tremendously; I just have to be patient and pray. When nothing in this world is for sure, we know He holds the future; what a comforting thought!
And now, for a little light hump day humor on this lovely (and HOT) Wednesday...
Be honest: unless you've had a baby recently, been invited to be part of the audience when a woman has done so, or have an occupation in which you see it multiple times a day, you've probably not watched a birth since that horrible day in health class when you had to sit through a video from the 80's of the whole ordeal, squirming uncomfortably in your seat as you try not to laugh/vomit/die of embarrassment. Yeah, that's definitely me, my husband too. So, we were laying in bed Monday night, I'm playing around with the blog a little bit, when suddenly I have this big, bright idea.
You already know what's coming.
I had the Internet, a wealth of information, right there in front of me, so I say to my husband, "Babe! Let's watch a birth video!" Did I really want to do this in the first place? No, not really. But seeing as how I'm about to go through all that myself, I figured I needed to. And my husband definitely needed to. I was halfway hoping he'd argue with me and say no, but surprisingly he agreed. So I found a video with a woman named Lisa (if you've Googled this, you've probably seen it too), and we proceeded to watch as she gave birth to a baby girl.
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I cannot kid you; these are our exact expressions after watching the five minute video. During certain parts I was pulling that sheet over my face, shaking my head saying "Oh no, no, no, no, no." I really think I was more mature as a tenth grader watching a birth video than I was as a pregnant, twenty-three-year-old adult. Coming from the girl who loves any movie written/directed/produced by Eli Roth or Quentin Tarantino, you'd think that watching someone have a baby, donned a "beautiful experience" by most people, would be nothing compared to my taste in horror films. But that was definitely not the case.
I think it was a really bad idea. The whole labor and delivery process doesn't bother or scare me at all, but I don't think it was necessary for me to watch someone else's. It's kind of like the fear of roller coasters I had when I was younger; I didn't want to watch a friend ride it first. Just get me on there and let me do it! And I do think it is beautiful, especially to the new mom and dad and family members who may be present. But seeing a stranger give birth didn't leave me with fluttery butterflies.
Despite the trauma, I have no doubt that I'll handle it just fine, especially with Eric by my side and an even stronger power in control. I've got a great team behind me, and I am not afraid. I'll be fine, Vaught will be fine, and no matter what happens it will be the best day of our lives, welcoming him into this world.
No, watching a birth video definitely was not the best idea! But on the bright side, I know a little more now about what I can expect to happen, and I suppose that is one good thing that came out of it. Do I need to add that I did tear up a little when she was handed her baby for the first time?? I cannot wait to hold Vaught in my arms!
We are 35 weeks along tomorrow, and I still can't decide if I'm going to do a bumpdate or not... If I do, it will be short and sweet! Check back or stay updated on the Instagram :)
Hope you all had a happy happy happy HUMP DAY.
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