"Me. Your son. Your job. And your dog."

I first went to my best friend/roommate Lindsay in early December about how I was feeling towards the trajectory of my life and what I wanted to get on top of and accomplish in 2019, as it was ever drawing nearer.

 

I was still in a relationship, but I remember coming to terms with an intimidating thought that was two parts scary and one part heartbreaking. It clicked like the flip of a switch, and I said to her, "I don't think this is what I want. I want to be alone for a little while."

 

 

We talked for hours about the year 2018 and all of the incredible changes I underwent. Overall, it was a wonderful year; it came with heartbreak but also with victories and breakthroughs. I realized that while I'd become much more acquainted with myself, I had to face the trembling realization that I didn't truly know myself. Not yet. I spent my summer going on alllllll the dates, anxious to find that next great guy, the one who could "fix it," who could heal me from all the hurt I'd just experienced.I was divorced and in a new relationship two months later. I wanted to take things slow, but at the same time, I couldn't be happy just being alone. I refused to believe it was even possible.

 

I met someone amazing, and I initially thought, "OMG! This is it! It ends here! Happily-ever-afters do exist!" Sunshine, roses, butterflies, the whole bag... But I slowly came to understand that it just cannot and will not ever be that simple. And I accepted that it was okay for me to bow out gracefully and go back to square one.

 

Only this time, square one is much more familiar and a hell of a lot more welcoming. I'm excited to be single again. I'm truly enjoying it. I want one full year of singleness (is that a word?) before I enter a new official relationship (I did two months over the summer--10 more to go, LOL).

 

It was during one of these talks with Lindsay when she said to me, 100% serious with a straight face, "I understand, Kate. Next year, you need to focus on more important things like me, your son, your job, and your dog. You need to figure out...." And I caught nothing else of her spill because I was too busy doubled over laughing at her perfect choice of words for the things she was advising me to give more attention to.

 

And now, it's a running joke between us. She even adds, "Yes, in that exact order!" And while it is a fun joke now, there's so much truth to it; as opposed to worrying about the next hot date, the next guy to come along and send me texts and snaps that make me smile, I'm focused on the things that I know are important, the things that really do matter.

 

I love being Vaught's mother. I love being a mother more than anything else. I love how motherhood has shaped me into someone I can be proud of. And when I look at him and he smiles at me, my heart could literally explode. It's the best feeling!

 

 

I love living with my best friend; it's constant sound advice, company when I don't need to be alone, and an ear that's always willing to listen. It's also wine and bellyaches from laughing so much. I'm so thankful I opened my home to Lindsay.

 

 

My job brings me so much joy, guys. It's hard to explain how different it is now that it ever was before. Perhaps it's because I returned to the classroom with a need in my heart--a need to be around others, to help young people. I think that the change in my circumstances has so much to do with why I finally love to teach. My kids need me, but sometimes I wonder if they've ever realized that I need them just as much in return...

And of course I can't say enough about my dog Lola! I'm glad Lindsay threw her in there. She's been right there beside me every step of the way, and I'm so glad to have a pup like her for nighttime snuggles and the occasional lonely hour. Dogs truly are a girl's best friend!

 

 

 

Wet Noodles

Shit happens. We change our minds. Sometimes the things we thought we wanted the most turn out to be not-so-great. Sometimes we have to admit that we did the wrong thing or rushed into a new relationship too soon or gave away something we should have kept or let someone into our familiars before we were ready. 

 

I think that life is nothing but trial and error, just a nonstop cycle of trying things on to gage the fit and see how it looks and feels. Sometimes we need to walk and move around in a new pair of shoes for a while before we decide if they're just right or a bit too small and are pinching our pinky toes, even if just a little bit.
 

A few days before Christmas I had to make a tough decision and walk away from one of the healthiest, most amazing relationships I've ever been in. I had to let down a person I love and respect at what is arguably the very worst time of the year to break up with someone.
 

I'd initially loved the shoes and thought they were a perfect fit. Only after walking around in them a while did I have to finally confront the fact that they were pinching my toes a little. They looked nice; I wanted to hang onto them. But they weren't the right fit.
 

Life really does have a way of throwing curveballs and testing your strength. 2018 has just been a year of trials and joys and really tough decisions. I'm so grateful for friends and family who have my back and support me when I have to do the tough things I wish life came without. In the end though, I'm so thankful for the growth. I'm thankful that I'm able to look back and say, "That was hard, but I did it, and I feel good about it now."
 

Life is just a bunch of wet noodles that we're throwing at the wall--just trying to see what sticks and what's not ready... what needs to spend more time in the pot. It really is okay that sometimes what we thought was meant for us turns out to not be a good fit. Making decisions to set those things free are never easy, but in the end it's worth it, especially when the dust settles and you're happier and so much more at ease. 

 

Whatever it is that's occupying your mind, whatever decision you feel needs to be made- no matter how big or small, no matter how difficult- you're going to feel one thousand times better once you get it out there and set it free. If there's one thing I've learned during this season of trial and error, it's this: don't be afraid to keep throwing those wet noodles at the wall... don't be afraid for the ones that need to go back in the pot. 

You are here.

I once thought the dumbest thing as I was looking at a humongous area map at a large shopping mall. I was in search of a specific store that I couldn't find, and then I noticed a bright red X with a speech bubble beside it. "YOU ARE HERE," it read. 

Oh my goodness, I remember thinking. How does it know where I am?

And it took about 2.5 seconds for me to come to my senses and be grateful that I hadn't said it out loud. Geez, Kate. That's been some time ago, a few years maybe, but it's funny how I'm thinking about that bright red X this morning... 

You are here. 

If you're new to my blog, I'd like to welcome you and say thanks for stopping by. If you're a previously devoted reader (you know, a regular from over a year ago when I blogged consistently), I'd like to say welcome back. It's so nice to be back in this space I call my own. 

You are here. And I'm so glad. 

It's only polite that I update you, but it comes with a warning: a lot has happened. The past year, 2018, has come with a multitude of life changes--spiritually, financially, romantically, emotionally. The very beginning of the year started with a traumatizing loss for our family, one that I will never forget... I'm not comfortable talking about it just yet, but if there's ever a time when I feel it's appropriate for me to share, know that I will. Apart from that, I'll start at the beginning.  

The last time I published here, I was married. Things were rapidly declining, and I wasn't sure how much longer that union would hold together, but still- I had a husband and picture-perfect family. But we all know how those things go... You never really know what goes on behind closed doors. 

Eric and I separated in February of 2018... He moved out in March, and our divorce was finalized in May. Marriage is hard. Divorce is really hard. It took several months, but I can confidently say that he and I are in a much better place now. We've remained good friends, and I respect him tremendously as Vaught's father and the man that helped care for our family for nearly 5 years. 

I've spent the better part of 2018 adjusting to newly single mom life, which has honestly been an adventure all on its own. I had to readjust emotionally and financially, neither of which were pleasant changes to make, but looking back, I'm proud of how far I've come. Although Vaught's dad and I share equal custody of little man, I knew I needed to transition myself into both parental roles in order to make up for a loss of balance in my home. It wasn't easy; his dad is so much better at discipline than I am, and I'm still so grateful for that! But after several months, I felt that I got the hang of it pretty well, and now we all have a routine that, for the most part, we're comfortable with.

I'm still teaching 6th grade Special Education at the same school where I accepted a job last year. I absolutely love my job and am looking forward to continuing my career as an educator for as long as I feel the Lord calling me to teach. I now have so many goals within the field that I want to reach, and I'm working hard every day to get there!

If you've been wondering about Chubs, he is four years old now, and is just growing before my eyes! He's doing wonderfully in his 4K class at school. He's fully potty-trained now and is so smart! He can hold complete conversations, which he does all the time. I  never tire of talking to that little thing! Right now I'm actually waiting on him to get home from the mountains; he spent Thanksgiving there with his dad. 

We've had a crazy-busy-fun 2018, but I must admit that I'm looking forward to a brand new year in just over a month. So what's next for me? 

I'd like to think I wake up every single day and just strive to be happy and grateful to be alive and to be surrounded by family and friends who love me so dearly. I work hard at my job- I adore my kids, and I can't wait to see what I'll be doing in the next few years. 

As for the blog, I'm glad to be back, and I hope you'll be checking in with me again really soon! 

After all, you are here. X. 

Creamy Tomato Basil Soup

Happy Hump Day and ohhhh my goodness at how long it's been since I've posted a good recipe! I posted a few low carb desserts and a cloud bread recipe a couple months back, but it's been months since I posted a real recipe for a dish that practically everyone loves!

If you're in Mississippi right now, then you know what we're dealing with and you know why this creamy tomato basil soup is going to be everything you need to feed your soul later. We are on going on day 3 of a snow-pocalypse, and the Deep South is a mess over it! But there's something about the snow that made me want to make this humongous pot of soup for the third time in the past week and a half, and I realized that I absolutely had to share this recipe with y'all because it is so easy, so delicious, and so fitting for snow days and nights!

Like most of the recipes I post, I found this online and tweaked it to my tastes and preferences. There are so many yummy tomato soup recipes out there, but this is officially my go-to! I hope you enjoy it!!

Ingredients: 

10 roma tomaotes
1 tablespoon minced garlic
1 can fire-roasted diced tomatoes*
2 cups organic vegetable broth
1/2 cup heavy whipping cream
Salt
Pepper
Basil*
Parsley* (All seasonings are "to taste." I don't measure them out).

* = tip. See bottom of the post for tips.

Directions: 

Set your oven to 400 degrees F and line a baking sheet with foil or wax paper
Dice your tomatoes into one-inch chunks

Spread your diced tomatoes and tablespoon of minced garlic on the sheet

Roast in the oven for 20 minutes

In a large pot, pour two cups of organic vegetable broth and place it on low-medium heat (I do this right when the tomatoes come out of the oven, and I give them a few minutes to cool down).

In a blender, puree your tomatoes and one can of fire-roasted diced tomatoes. If you don't have a blender, a hand mixer or whisk would probably work pretty well! It just means a little more effort on your part.

After blending, pour your tomato puree into the pot and add your half cup of heavy whipping cream.
Heat to a simmer (sometimes I'll heat it boil for just a few seconds before turning it down; this girl loves her soup HOTTT).

While simmering, add your salt, pepper, and a little parley (optional--I just love parsley in soups!)
I let the soup simmer for about ten minutes, ten I add basil before serving. In each bowl, I add just a dash more basil!

TIPS: 
The can of fire-roasted diced tomatoes is optional, but I do find that it gives the soup a richer taste and thicker consistency. If you don't want to add this, grab a couple more roma tomatoes and perhaps season with some garlic powder before roasting.
The parsley is 100% optional; I just enjoy parsley in pretty much any soup I make!
You can purchase fresh basil and parsley in the produce section and chop it yourself (you can even grow both of these in your kitchen window). I used what was left in my pantry in these pre-packaged containers. I'm sure fresh seasonings taste the best, but these are still really good and very convenient!

I wish I had all the nutritional information perfectly lined up for you, but I kind of dropped the ball on that part! I did put a rough version into MyFitnessPal, guesstimating that a whole pot makes about 6 one-cup sevings, each one coming out to about 110 calories/servings. That seemed a little low though, so at some point I'll go back and re-do my recipe on there! But I will say that this is a fairly healthy, wholesome, and soothing recipe that you and your family will love for these cold winter nights!

Enjoy!!

Fuel Your Year, Fuel Your Hustle

I seriously don't care how cliché it sounds; if you're looking to get healthier, start a new diet or workout plan, pick up a new hobby, or simply change your life, there's no better time to get started than the first day of a new year.

No matter what each year brings, I have to admit that I'm always ready for the next one. 2017 was really incredible; I excelled in my business, crushed a few financial goals I had for the year, and I lost weight (about 40 pounds!) and got healthier. At 27, I am the fittest I've ever been in my entire life--that's a good feeling! And I can imagine it's pretty rare; most of my friends would give anything to get their college bodies back and feel the same way they did at 21!

The funny thing about your fitness goals is that they're not stagnant; they change pretty often! We reach one goal and then we're on to crushing a new personal record in the squat rack or getting a new base pace in our run or beating our mile time. It seems that I am always looking for new and better ways to fuel my hustle; this year will be no different!

I did a lot of self-improvement in 2017, and 2018 is going to be even better! I've got a head-start on my gym game by scheduling my Orange Theory workouts ahead of time, making sure I attend at least three every week! I'm not obsessing over the scale this year, but I am weighing myself once every couple of weeks (checking in with this number really helps keep me on track!), and I'm also staying connected with my calorie tracker app on my iPhone and tracking those macronutrients: carbs, sugars, fats, and proteins!

And speaking of proteins, thanks to Oikos® Protein Crunch Yogurt by Dannon, I feel like I'm already way ahead of the game! When it comes to healthy snacking, I'm a "crunch" person (I'm sure many of you can relate!) My ideal snack is a mixture of salty and sweet and has a crunch to it! This is probably why carbs have always been my weakness--just give me all the chips and crackers!!

I received an exclusive invitation to try Dannon's new Oikos® Protein Crunch Yogurt (new at Walmart), and I was immediately hooked! Not only am I getting fueled with 17 grams of protein in a five ounce up, I'm also getting 6 grams of fiber and a healthy, beneficial snack with NO artificial sweeteners or flavors. That is definitely something I can get on board with in 2018! 

It seems as if Dannon created this new yogurt (in four amazing flavors!) with busy mamas like me in mind! I may work from home, but that doesn't mean I'm not constantly running around and staying busy, and I am always needing that extra fuel in my body, that extra push to keep my energy up and keep going! I had to get creative with my time just to sit down and devote time to my blog to talk about how much I'm loving Oikos® Protein Crunch Yogurt! It's got the smooth, semi-sweet taste of the Greek, nonfat yogurt I've always loved but with the crunch I love and crave in the toppings! 

The protein packed in this five-ounce snack is seriously just a plus! 

Visit your local Walmart next time you're grabbing groceries and be sure to stop by the dairy section to find this stuff! I am always down for trying new yogurt flavors, and Dannon has definitely made an impression on me with Oikos® Protein Crunch Yogurt! 

If I've not convinced you enough, grab this offer from Ibotta! It's an app that gives you money back for the things your purchase every day at grocery stores! I think you guys have heard me rave about it before; it is definitely an amazing little tool while grocery shopping, and Dannon is giving you an exclusive offer to try Oikos® Protein Crunch Yogurt too!

I'm so ready to see all the good that 2018 brings to me--body, mind, and soul! I'm working hard every day to better myself, get healthier, and live happier. Dannon's  Oikos® Protein Crunch Yogurt is definitely going to help my accomplish at least one of these goals this year! 

How are you fueling your hustle this year?!

c h i c a g o

"Hard to leave, harder to stay."

I feel that those words are the very best way to sum up my nine (count 'em-NINE) days in the Windy City. I left on Friday, December 8th and returned Sunday, December 17th. Nine days felt like blissful eternity while I was there, and then I walked through the door of my home, greeted my pup, hugged my child, and realized that I'd only been gone a minute or so.

Isn't it crazy how time passes and yet it doesn't??

So many people wanted to know why I was there and why I was gone for so long. I think a lot of people had their speculations because I wasn't saying much about it, but it was entertaining hearing the theories, I have to admit. I was there as a "companion" to my best friend, Lindsay, who had a minor procedure done on Friday, one week after our arrival in the city. Due to the nature of the procedure, she had to be there several days prior so that the hospital could monitor her for a short while every morning leading up to the day of the surgery. That's really all you need to know about that!

Aside from her appointment every morning, which I didn't have to attend, we had a full day ahead to do as we pleased, and we tried to fill the trip with as much sight-seeing, eating, and shopping as we could. Lindsay has visited Chicago probably two dozen times; her youngest brother is actually in college there and is a gymnast on the men's gymnastics team, so she and her family are familiar with the city as if it's their second home. For me, this was my first time--I was a total Chicago virgin (I've had two layovers at O'Hare, but I hardly feel that that count as "visiting Chicago").

Our plane left just before 8PM Friday night from Memphis, TN, and we were in Chicago just after 9. Our hotel was a cozy Hampton Inn right off Michigan Avenue, lovingly referred to as the "Magnificent Mile." I ended up walking this mile several times during our trip. There was so much to see!

We started bright and early Saturday morning--at 7AM. We Ubered to a pre-game party before making our way to Wrigleyville for TBOX (Twelve Bars of Christmas). It was the first bar crawl I've ever done and while the experience was fun, I'll be totally fine if I never do another. We were supposed to make it to twelve bars, but we actually only made it to three, plus a Starbucks and a pizza joint to get some food on our pretty much empty stomachs (not the best combination when mixed with alcohol).

The coolest part was seeing Wrigley Field, where the Chicago Cubs play. I'm not a baseball fan at all, but after the Cubs' World Series win last year, it was obviously pretty cool to see their home field and all of the Cubs memorabilia in the city. I feel like there's a love for the Cubs that's just slightly more passionate than the city's love for the Bears!

We returned to our hotel room by 4 that afternoon, and we both passed out and slept til after 7. It was a very much-needed nap and then food was a must! We ate at Grand Lux Café, right on Magnificent Mile. The view was amazing!

On Sunday, we ventured over to Millenium Park to see the BEAN. I have always seen people's pictures in front of this giant silver pinto bean (at least that's what I think it is), but of course I never thought I'd get my chance to see it too!

We trekked down Mag Mile to get there, and we walked right past Trump Tower. It is, in my opinion, the most beautiful building in the city. Every time I passed it, I couldn't stop staring at it. It stays lit up at night and is just a stunning structure to look at. One of our Uber drivers told me I would be astounded if I saw the one in Vegas. I don't see how it could possibly "trump" the one in Chicago though, but that could just be my Mississippi talking.

We made it a goal of working out every single day while we were in the city, and I'm proud to say we accomplished it! In addition to all the walking, we were each in the gym at least once every day of our trip! These made for lots of laughs and cute gym selfies... Because if you don't #gymselfie, did you even work out??

I think it's after Monday that different parts of the trip seemed to run together. Lindsay has friends in the city, so one day she spent most of the afternoon visiting people she knew and while I'm not antisocial at all, I decided to take a day to just hang out in the hotel. I brought my laptop, so I got some work done, signed up a couple of new customers, and watched Netflix. While there was a lot to see and we definitely did a lot of sight-seeing and running around, I was also grateful for some time to just be alone. If you're a mom, you totally get it!

I'm not staying true to my blogger platform if I don't throw in some photos of the food we ate while in the Windy City! I finally got to indulge in real Chicago-style pizza in a hole-in-the-wall pizzeria off Michigan Avenue.

I'm also really proud to say that I felt like I became a "regular" at Timothy O' Toole's Pub on North Fairbanks, about a three minute walk from our hotel. It was a cool place to meet residents of the city and get a drink when I wasn't quite ready for bed (I think I visited four or five times during our stay).  Lindsay came with me one night, and we ended up ordering dessert--the chocolate climax. It only took about two minutes for us to wonder why we thought dessert was a great idea after going to town on their California fries.

Saturday was our last full day, so we walked about a mile to Navy Pier; next to the Bean, it was the second most exciting thing I wanted to do, though I'd had a number of locals tell me that I wouldn't be too impressed this time of year. So this is me admitting that yes, I'm glad I saw Navy Pier, but no, I wasn't super impressed. It was really cool seeing the Ferris Wheel and the boats coming in, but aside from that, there wasn't very much to it.

I absolutely loved every minute of our trip; it was more fun than I'd had in a while! But I was missing this little guy so much while I was gone. When our plane landed in Memphis, I sprinted through the airport to meet him and his dad in baggage claim. I scooped up all fifty-five pounds of him and smothered him in kisses until he'd had enough of me and wanted to see the airplanes again.

I'm so thankful that we made this trip happen and that Lindsay allowed me to be her trusted companion for her procedure. Without saying too much about it, I'll just say that she did an amazing thing; someone is going to be very blessed because of her!

The fun we had and memories we made are just an added plus. Of course there are things I can't disclose on my blog.. We are, after all, KATE & LINDSAY 2.0 and hilarious stories seem to follow us everywhere... Luckily we are meeting for coffee tomorrow night to recount our entire trip and laugh about all the crazy things that happened that I can't talk about here :)

If you're from Chicago or frequent the city often, I apologize if these pictures don't do it justice--I would have to agree, they don't! But I'm so glad I finally got to visit and I can't wait to go back! Next time, I'm bringing my good camera and I'm shooting for two whole weeks in Windy City!!

For now, I'll settle for some coffee from my Chicago mug and snuggles with my little guy on this chilly morning!